For the Love of Valentines Day

Valentines Day. Those two words mean different things to different people. In my years of life and conversations, I've noticed three main reactions to this day. To some people, February 14th represents a day to remember how loved they are and to lavish that love on a significant other, some see it as just another day, and for some it is a day of grief. We probably all know some people who fit into each of these categories. We can all agree, that to some extent, we at least think about love on this day. I believe that the Bible is very clear that we are to love others, regardless of what stage of life we are in. How do we make these worlds collide? I am no expert, but I do have a few thoughts.

To the "I love Valentines Day!!!!" people:
You know who you are. You love romance, flowers, hearts, candles, kisses, hugs, chocolate, and the over-the-topness of the day. Good for you. I am truly happy for you. Enjoy your day. Keep doing you. But maybe tone it down just a little... Please, go ahead and enjoy the day. Thank God for the blessings in your life. Have that romantic dinner with your significant other, but for the love of others, maybe don't post EVERYTHING on social media. Remember that this is a hard day for some people. Make a point of reaching out to, or at least praying for people who may not be having the same happy day that you are.  Enjoy your time with the person closest to you, but isn't it more special to keep some things just between the two of you anyway? I'm not saying to keep everything private. I often fall into the last category (more on that later), but I still enjoy seeing people happy. I enjoy seeing relationships that work. I just don't need to se 50 pictures of the same couple enjoying the day and reminding me of what I don't have. Love others by being considerate of their feelings as well.

To the "It's just another day" people:
You're right. It is just another day. Another day to love people like Christ has called you to do. It is a great day to love others who may not agree with you by living out Romans 12:15.

Celebrate with your friends and loved ones who are loved every day, but especially appreciate it on Valentines Day. Praise God for their love. At the same time, Weep with people who are in pain. Hug them. Pray for them. Let them weep on your shoulders. Allow them to cry ugly tears. Love others in your "everyday."

 

To the "Valentines Day makes me sad" people:

Let me start off by assuring you that you are not alone. I probably have the most to say about this because I am one of these people. There are many different reasons for people to be grieving on Valentines day. Some may be grieving the love, marriage, and family that they so desire and don't have yet. Some by be grieving the loss of a loved one. Some may be in an abusive relationship and long to know real love. Some may be bitter or hurt by those who are supposed to love them the most. I don't know all of your stories, but I do know that February 14th brings a whole new level of pain for some people and I am sorry for that. If I could, I would hug you tight and let you cry it out, then give you gold and sunshine, rainbows and perfect love for the rest of your days. Unfortunately, I can't. As Christians, even in times of grief, we are called to love others. We perhaps, have the greatest opportunity to allow God to love others through us on this day because it's the hardest to do. It has to be Him doing the work to love those who are deliriously happy and gushy. It has to be Him allowing us to rejoice in their love. It may be a little easier to love people who just see the day as everyday, and we strive to be like them. We may even succeed at that for a time, but then a new mood hits and we are reminded of how alone we feel. We can love others by clinging to God, His promises, His truth, and allowing Him to love us and others through us.

 

Bonus: How to  (and not to) love those who are hurting:

I know that I have already taken the most space for these people, and yet, I have more to say (shocker, I know). Maybe it is because I can relate to these people the most and have the most experience in this area. Maybe it is because these people need to know love. I don't know for sure how God will use this or that it will even be beneficial, but it's my blog and I'll write what I want to :-P  So, here are some tips.

 

*Let people know that they are loved- Whether you know someone is grieving or not, take the opportunity to let people know in a personal way (not a generic Facebook post) that they are loved. It's simple really. Shoot them a text, give them a call, tell them face to face. Just let them know. Little things go a long ways.

 

*Stay away from clichés!- PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!! When I am hurting, I will never respond well to a cliché. Yes, I've "given it to God and stopped looking for a spouse." None showed up on my doorstep with a diamond five minutes later. Weird, huh? It is better to say nothing, and just be with a person than to say cheesy clichés that they are tired of hearing.

*Hug it out and let them weep- While you're not saying clichés, and maybe even just being silent. Be there for them by hugging them. Let them know you care. Warning: When a person is hurting the most, hugging may lead to tears. I don't mean sweet, wipe away with your dainty pinky finger tears, I mean full on ugly, wet, sobs. This is okay. Hug them tighter. Let them cry on you. Heck, you can even cry with them if you want! Be there for them.

 

*Pray for them and with them- This may again lead to tears, but hey, we've all been there, right? Take it to God. Remind them in a nice way of the promises found in His Word and that He loves them more than anything, That He is with them.

 

I hope this was helpful in some way, to someone. With that being said, I'll leave you with this for Valentines Day and everyday: LOVE ONE ANOTHER!!!

 

If You Would Have Told Me a Year Ago...

Happy New Year (a few days late)! This particular post has been in the works for a few weeks now, and has changed format a few times (I was even going to make a music video at one point, and NOBODY wants to see that! Ha!). As I began to think about the Christmas/New Year/Birthday/Valentine's season, it wasn't easy. On the surface, nothing much changed in 2015. I am still single and childless, working the same place that I have been for the last 12 years. Everyone around me seems to be getting married, having kids, going on these grand adventures... If I focused on that, I became bitter and resentful. Wondering what the point of 2015 was. As I cried out to God during these times, He was faithful to show me that much really had changed. He is at work in my life, and as His words say, I have received grace upon grace. Below, are just a few ways that I have seen this grace in my life in the last year.

If you would have told me a year ago that I would still be single, and be okay with being a mess about it sometimes, I would have doubted you. The truth is, that I would love to be married with kids someday (hopefully sooner than later). This has been a desire of mine for a long time. Sometimes I'm okay with my singleness, and sometimes I'm a complete wreck. This year, while learning how to lean on God more, I've learned to be more real, both with Him and with others. Upon not hiding the "ugly" parts of my life, He has been faithful to provide comfort through His Holy Spirit and through friends. Some of my close friends have heard me rant, and seen me cry, at sometimes irrational times. I have some dear friends, who are married, and instead of giving platitudes such as "Your time will come" or "It's all in God's timing", really are there for me and acknowledge the struggle. They allow me to cry and vent. They are there for me. God is there for me even more. His grace is amazing.

If you would have told me a year ago that my youngest sister would get married before me and I wouldn't have a complete meltdown, I would have thought it impossible. Thankfully, I serve the God who makes the impossible things possible. I am so excited for my sister and the Jesus loving man that she found. I didn't even shed any tears around the time of their marriage. It may have finally hit me around Christmas when we were gathering at their newly purchased home, that she has things that I have dreamed of for a long time. I may not understand God's timing, but I am truly happy for them, and it's by God's grace alone that I can say that and trust that He does, indeed, have a plan for me.

If you would have told me a year ago that I would be a student again after almost a decade, I would have called you crazy. As it turns out, I may be the crazy one. It wasn't until May of 2015 that I even decided to go on this adventure. Here I am, about to start my second term tomorrow. It is truly a God thing. I always wanted to continue my education, but didn't know what area to pursue. All along, God had a plan. For the last few years, I have been hearing more and more about adoption. God has been bringing it to light through sermons, news stories, and friends. God has truly given me a passion for this area. I still don't know how exactly this will play out in my life, but I am excited to see how God will use this as I take one step at a time, in faith, to pursue a degree and possible career in this field. Maybe this is why I'm single. For such a time as this, to study and move in this direction without the distraction of kids around. Time will tell. God's grace is marvelous!

If you would have told me a year ago that my entire immediate family would be together at Christmas, and be happy to do so, I would have been extremely hesitant to believe you. This time last year, my family was in complete turmoil. Life as I had known it for 30ish years, was over. Part of my family wasn't speaking to one another, and everyone was deeply hurting. (See blog post from August 2014 for more details.) Things are still far from what they once were in my family. There is still hurt in each person's life from things that happened. But through the grace of God, restoration has begun. I teared up as I sat in a Christmas Eve service at my church with most of my family sitting there. People sitting next to each other who definitely would not have even been in the same building a year ago. Things will most likely never be the same, but God's grace brings healing, and He is good.

If you would have told me a year ago, that my work life would look completely different, I would have cried. Truth be told, I did cry, a lot, when I found out about the changes that were to come. My comfort zone was being ripped away. The person who I had worked closest with for years was taking a new position, and work as I knew it would change. Because of these changes, however, I was able to go back to school, to work a different schedule. Yes, I work with different people and in a different classroom, at different times than I have for years. Yes, it was a hard adjustment at times and I'm still getting used to the new routine. Yes, I still mostly love my job. God's grace has brought me out of my comfort zone and back to why I do what I do. I get paid to talk to kids about Jesus, to pray with people, to see God working in lives. How cool is that?!?! God is good.

All of this is just a small glimpse into my life in 2015. It may not have looked how I thought it should, but when I really stop to think about it, even amongst the chaos and tears, God has remained faithful and He has me on a journey that is so much greater than I could ever plan for myself. He is faithful, and has truly given me grace upon grace.

Thankful for Adoption

Tomorrow is the last day of November. I have felt an urging all month to write something in honor of National Adoption Month, yet I haven't known where to start. To be honest, I still don't know exactly what will come of this blog post, but with much prayer, I am moving forward and trusting that God will use my fingers moving across my keyboard to share a small part of my journey, in hopes that it may be helpful or encouraging to someone else.

As some of you know, adoption is something near and dear to my heart. No, I am not adopted in an earthly or legal sense, but I am adopted in a spiritual sense. This has become more and more real to me over the last few years, and has changed the direction of my life. I firmly believe that I am adopted into the family of God, by grace alone. This has been true for more than a few years, but has become more evident in my life as I seek God and His direction in my life more. Not only am I adopted, but I am also called to adoption. This may mean physical, legal adoption, or it may mean something else entirely. I don't know how God will use me, but as I put one foot in front of the other, walking in faith, I can't wait to see how He will carry this out in my life. More on that later...

First, why adoption? The "easy" answer to this question  is because God adopted me. I have known this, and have read scriptures about being adopted into God's family many times. I have been moving in the direction that He is leading because of this knowledge. I love it though, when God confirms that you're moving in the right direction when you least expect it. This happened a few weeks ago, when I was doing my Bible study. I was not studying adoption on purpose, and was in fact doing a study that I'm going through with some other ladies on the book of Revelation when Romans 11 was assigned to read. It is a passage that I have ready many times, God's word truly is living and active, and this particular passage hit me hard this time. I had to stop, mid passage, and thank God for adoption. I have been chewing on this for a few weeks now. God is so good.

"So I ask, did they stumble in order that they might fall? By no means! Rather through their trespass salvation has come to the Gentiles, so as to make Israel jealous. Now if their trespass means riches for the world, and if their failure means riches for the Gentiles, how much more will their full inclusion mean!  Now I am speaking to you Gentiles. Inasmuch then as I am an apostle to the Gentiles, I magnify my ministry in order somehow to make my fellow Jews jealous, and thus save some of them.  For if their rejection means the reconciliation of the world, what will their acceptance mean but life from the dead?  If the dough offered as firstfruits is holy, so is the whole lump, and if the root is holy, so are the branches.  But if some of the branches were broken off, and you, although a wild olive shoot, were grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing root^[ of the olive tree, do not be arrogant toward the branches. If you are, remember it is not you who support the root, but the root that supports you. Then you will say, “Branches were broken off so that I might be grafted in.”  That is true. They were broken off because of their unbelief, but you stand fast through faith. So do not become proud, but fear.  For if God did not spare the natural branches, neither will he spare you. Note then the kindness and the severity of God: severity toward those who have fallen, but God's kindness to you, provided you continue in his kindness. Otherwise you too will be cut off.  And even they, if they do not continue in their unbelief, will be grafted in, for God has the power to graft them in again.  For if you were cut from what is by nature a wild olive tree, and grafted, contrary to nature, into a cultivated olive tree, how much more will these, the natural branches, be grafted back into their own olive tree." (Romans 11:11-24)

There is much to be gleaned from this passage, and it would take much longer than a few minutes to really dig in deeply into what it means, but the part that struck me anew a few weeks ago is the assurance that I am grafted in to God's family. I am part of His family tree. He has adopted me, given me what I need. He has given me life. I'm not an outsider who knows that His family tree exists, I am a part of the tree! Seriously, how cool is that?!?!?!

What does it mean to be adopted into God's family? It means, first and foremost, that He calls me His child. I have rights to an inheritance far greater than anything that I deserve. I get to lean upon Him. I get to spend an eternity with my heavenly Father. I also have a spiritual family that I am incredibly thankful for. As I was sitting in church today, there were some somber moments. Some dear friends were worshipping with our church body for possibly the last time today as God is leading them and their family in a different direction. As I was reflecting on this, I was reminded that they, and other people are part of my spiritual family. I have been adopted into God's family, and His people have been an awesome support for me over the years.

My own earthly family is great. I am blessed to have grown up with people who love Jesus. With that being said though, there have also been times when I have had to lean on my spiritual family. There are times when God uses my earthly family in my life and times that He puts other people into my life to speak truth into my life, to cry with me, to laugh with me, to encourage me, etc. I am so thankful to have such great family support, both of my biological family and my brothers and sisters
in Christ.

I am also fortunate enough to have some dear people in my life, who love Jesus, and have adopted children into their homes. Some are still in the process and some have adopted several children. I have loved prayerfully walking alongside of them on their adoption journeys. God has used each of them in incredible ways in these kids' lives and, whether they know it or not, in mine. It is such an inspiration to see lives being changed because of God's love, and these peoples' love for children.

All that being said, where does that leave me? How can I take this adoption that I have received and in turn, show the world what it means to be adopted? That, my friends, is what I have been trying to figure out for the last couple of years, and the last six months in particular. I am currently going to school to work in the adoption arena in some capacity. I don't know what that will look like yet. I am, however, trusting God and taking steps forward as He leads. Will I one day be in a place to physically, legally adopt a child? I don't know. Can I support adoption now? Absolutely.

If I am adopted as God's child, wouldn't it seem like a natural thing to turn around and share that adoption with others? I don't think Christians often enough realize what God has called us all to. Many times, scripture tells us to help the orphans and widows. How are we doing that? I don't think that God calls everyone to physically adopt, but I do believe that He commands all believers to help orphans and widows. As I've pondered what that means during this National Adoption Month, I am broken. I have not done enough. I have often taken my own adoption for granted and not shared the good news of the Gospel with others.

I am in no place financially or circumstantially to physically, legally, adopt any children right now. I can,  however do a few other things:

*Pray for children who need a family

*Pray those working with these children

*Support friends who are seeking to adopt financially

*Support friends who are seeking to adopt in prayer.

*Support adoption agencies.

*Share the gospel and the story of being adopted into God's family

*Love, support, pray with, cry with, other members of God's family who have been adopted.

*Thank God

 

These are just a few ways to get involved in the cause. There are many more. Pray about it. Seek how God would have you support adoption causes, not just during November, but throughout the year as well. Sorry this was so long and rambly (yes, I know that I made that word up), but I hope someone is encouraged by this.

 

Student Life

Howdy folks!

It's been about four months since I last posted, and a lot has changed in my life since then, so I thought I'd briefly share a little of my adventure.

Well, I really did it. I enrolled in college and am well into the second week of being a student for the first time in approximately ten years. To say that starting school again after all this time nerve wrecking, overwhelming, or just outright scary would be an understatement. I was terrified, but trying to trust God that this is the direction that He has me going, that some day, when I get to help the cause of adoption in some way, shape, or form, it will all be worth it.

I'm only taking one class this term for a couple of reasons. Firstly, so that I could "ease" back into the whole school routine, and secondly, because I was too late to apply for financial aid for this term, so I had to pay out of pocket for the class (and it's NOT cheap! and I don't make a lot of money at my job). This term I am taking Religion in US Culture. I thought it would be an interesting class, and it fits the criteria for two different kinds of classes that I have to take to get a degree. Also, it will help me in my future career/ministry, to know where people of different religious backgrounds are coming from.

This class is online, and so has A LOT of reading associated with it. That has been the hardest thing to figure out. I've learned that I need to seriously work on my time management skills. There are also discussion questions that need be answered by certain times.  I'm not going to lie, I've been completely overwhelmed at times, trying to figure out how to fit the deadlines and get the reading in with my schedule. Just last night, I was talking to my mom on the phone and started crying talking about how every spare minute seems to be taken up and I'm only taking one class this term. It's overwhelming.

That being said, I still do need to get the routine figured out, but as of tonight, I've decided that I really do like the class. Maybe it's because so far we've been covering Judaism and Christianity, so I already have a pretty good foundation to build off of. (Confession: I haven't been reading everything since I already know the basics). Tonight, I even got giddy choosing what discussion question to answer. I was going to call it a night and just answer the first question (we get to choose one of 3-4 questions to answer and then respond to someone's answer). Then, upon further reading I saw a word that stood out to me. It was almost as if it was a neon sign for me to see. The word: Predestination. The theology nerd in me came alive. I got to use scripture, and share what my views of predestination are and how that affects how I live. And this is homework? Deal!

I know that things won't always be this ideal. I'll probably have to read more in the coming weeks as we dive into other religions and the answers may not always come as easily for me, but I really do enjoy learning what makes people tick. There is something intriguing about people who live differently than I do. This is why I semi-guiltily have been known to watch shows such as "Sister Wives" and 'Amish: Out of Order." Not because I believe that polygamy is right and I have no desire to become Amish, I just like to observe how people do things. I like to try and figure out why they  believe what they do. This class will be great for that.

So, all that being said, after being a student for almost two weeks now, school is: scary, exciting, stretching, overwhelming, frustrating, fun, challenging, and adventurous. That's where I'm at right now. Riding the roller coaster and trying to enjoy the ride more than screaming in fear. It's touch and go sometimes, but when I stop and reflect, I can see God's hand guiding me along the way.

An Ode to Maddie Grace

It was May 4th, 1989,
Life with one sibling was going just fine.

The next day when I opened my eyes,
I had no idea that this day would bring a big surprise.

When Madisan Grace entered the world my sister count doubled,
But I was overjoyed, not worried or troubled.

We were five years apart and not always on the same page,
But we loved each other, even when that love was hard to gauge.

Our childhood years were full of things like bike rides, laughter, face slapping wars,
Arguing, gaming, and paying her a penny to do my chores.

Although we disagreed about things such as watching Rugrats or the Olympic Games,
When honor was due, she was quick to give rousing acclaims.

As we've grown older, I've learned to treasure her as not only a sister, but also a dear friend,
My love for Maddie has only grown even as our lives twist and bend.

She is funny and honest and loves others lots,
She deserves happiness, love, and lots of big yachts.

Through life's trials she doesn't make things up and try to save face,
She's kind and compassionate, always showing God's grace.

Now her life is full of mushiness, hugs, and kisses,
I am so glad that she met Jacob and that soon she will be his Mrs.

So tomorrow we celebrate with vows, laughter, family and cheers,
Here's to wishing you many extraordinarily happy and love-filled years!

I love you Maddie Grace!

Taking Steps of Faith

Adoption: It is a word that we may hear often, but may not really stop and consider what it means or how it affects people every day. Chances are that we know someone who has been adopted, or has adopted/will adopt children. We often throw the word around lightly, for instance, calling a good friend's parents our "adoptive parents."

As Christians, adoption should mean a whole lot more to us. This is something that God has been putting on my heart for the last few years. We are adopted by God! This is a HUGE truth that we often don't really stop and think about. We are part of His family! We don't deserve it, but He chose us to be His children. How cool is that?!?!

As I said, this has been on my heart for a few years, and in the last few months, even more so. I watched the movie "The Drop Box" and walked away saying, "I want to hug those hurting mamas and love on those precious kids." I've seen friends go through the process of adopting children. I've had countless conversations with people about adoption. In each of these instances, God has clearly laid the importance of adoption on my heart. Every time I think, "I have to do something. These kids need to know love."

After watching "The Drop Box" I cried out to God asking how I could help. What He would have for me in the area of adoption, why this kept coming up. I knew that it was time to take a step of faith. I am in no place personally to adopt right now. I know without a doubt that is not the way that God is leading me for this stage of life. I do, however, want to glorify Him by helping in the adoption process.

After doing some research and a whole lot of praying, I looked into working for adoption agencies of some kind. I quickly discovered that a college degree would help tremendously if I want to help these kiddos. I had been thinking about going back to school, but was directionless. After much prayer, I am taking a step of faith and beginning the process of going back to school to get a degree in social work.

Life may be crazy for the next couple of years, but the timing worked out perfectly with a change of schedule at my current job so that I can begin taking some classes. I don't know for sure what God has planned in my life. I don't know what my future job will be or how I will help the adoption process. I do know, that I am putting one foot in front of the other and taking one step of faith at a time. I know that God is guiding me toward the adoption field at this stage in my life. I know that He has a plan and is trustworthy. I know that my life is in His hands. I know that I am adopted by Him. I know that He calls us to care for the fatherless and the widows.

For now, I go with what I know to be true of Him and putting one step in front of the other. Steps of faith... Here we go!

Life is hard. God is good. Please Pray

Wow. It's been awhile since I've blogged. I don't really know where to begin. I guess I'll begin with prayer. I believe that prayer is powerful and am asking anyone else who believes this to join me.

Those who know me well, know that the last eight months or so has easily been the hardest season of my life. Without getting into too many details, to respect the privacy of some people who I love dearly, I will just say that this season has been extremely painful.

The reality of the fallen world that we live in is clear. Sin is real. Pain is real. There is a real spiritual battle happening. My family life as I've known it for the last 30 years will never be the same.

Over the last several years, I found pride in the fact that I lived a semi drama free life. But as Proverbs 16:18 says, "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall."

Sometimes, drama finds you. Sometimes it's wrapped up in the people that you love the most.

I remember praying right before the start of the new year that God would soften my heart. My heart has since been completely wrecked. I'm not saying that God causes sin to happen or wants us to suffer. I am saying that though we live in a fallen world, He will use even the least of these to bring Him glory.

The last eight months have definitely been painful. I  have wept more and cried out to God more than ever before. In that, He has been so faithful. Life sucks sometimes. Families fall apart. Things seem hopeless. There comes a point when all that you can do is pray. I've been doing that a lot.

I'd be lying if I said that through all of this, I always turned to God first or trusted Him fully. I have, however, on more than one occasion over the last several months come to a point where there is nowhere else to turn, and He has been waiting with open arms.

Life has been painful, hard, exhausting at times. My relationship with my Savior and my times with Him have never been sweeter even amongst the chaos around. His love has never been so real. I've had to cling to Him and trust His Word and He has been proven faithful over and over again.

The song below is one that I was thinking about as I was worshipping at church earlier this morning. I was praising Him and thanking Him that the promise found in this song his so true and one that I can trust. He never does leave my side. He is faithful.

All afternoon, I was thinking about this and thanking Him for it. I was thinking about writing this very blog. Then, once again, this evening, as I was with family, more proof of our fallen world became real. Pardon my language, but shit hit the fan tonight in a new, more difficult way. It's hard not to be angry at certain people, at the situation.

As I write this, I'm playing this song on repeat and have stopped several times to cry out to God and to claim the promises found in scripture and in this song. Life isn't easy. I often stray from where I need to be with my Savior, but He is faithful. He is with me. I will make it through this battle, with Him as my advocate. I am eternally thankful for His work on the cross.

Life is brutal at times, but it is also so sweet. Grace is real. Salvation can be found in Christ alone and He pleads for us. I have some great friends and family who have supported me and the various members of my family involved in these difficult times, but the One who is always there, is my precious Savior, Jesus Christ.

Thank you for reading this. Please be praying for my family in the days and months to come. Life sucks sometimes and we have a long road ahead.

Song: Oh God