For the Love of Valentines Day

Valentines Day. Those two words mean different things to different people. In my years of life and conversations, I've noticed three main reactions to this day. To some people, February 14th represents a day to remember how loved they are and to lavish that love on a significant other, some see it as just another day, and for some it is a day of grief. We probably all know some people who fit into each of these categories. We can all agree, that to some extent, we at least think about love on this day. I believe that the Bible is very clear that we are to love others, regardless of what stage of life we are in. How do we make these worlds collide? I am no expert, but I do have a few thoughts.

To the "I love Valentines Day!!!!" people:
You know who you are. You love romance, flowers, hearts, candles, kisses, hugs, chocolate, and the over-the-topness of the day. Good for you. I am truly happy for you. Enjoy your day. Keep doing you. But maybe tone it down just a little... Please, go ahead and enjoy the day. Thank God for the blessings in your life. Have that romantic dinner with your significant other, but for the love of others, maybe don't post EVERYTHING on social media. Remember that this is a hard day for some people. Make a point of reaching out to, or at least praying for people who may not be having the same happy day that you are.  Enjoy your time with the person closest to you, but isn't it more special to keep some things just between the two of you anyway? I'm not saying to keep everything private. I often fall into the last category (more on that later), but I still enjoy seeing people happy. I enjoy seeing relationships that work. I just don't need to se 50 pictures of the same couple enjoying the day and reminding me of what I don't have. Love others by being considerate of their feelings as well.

To the "It's just another day" people:
You're right. It is just another day. Another day to love people like Christ has called you to do. It is a great day to love others who may not agree with you by living out Romans 12:15.

Celebrate with your friends and loved ones who are loved every day, but especially appreciate it on Valentines Day. Praise God for their love. At the same time, Weep with people who are in pain. Hug them. Pray for them. Let them weep on your shoulders. Allow them to cry ugly tears. Love others in your "everyday."

 

To the "Valentines Day makes me sad" people:

Let me start off by assuring you that you are not alone. I probably have the most to say about this because I am one of these people. There are many different reasons for people to be grieving on Valentines day. Some may be grieving the love, marriage, and family that they so desire and don't have yet. Some by be grieving the loss of a loved one. Some may be in an abusive relationship and long to know real love. Some may be bitter or hurt by those who are supposed to love them the most. I don't know all of your stories, but I do know that February 14th brings a whole new level of pain for some people and I am sorry for that. If I could, I would hug you tight and let you cry it out, then give you gold and sunshine, rainbows and perfect love for the rest of your days. Unfortunately, I can't. As Christians, even in times of grief, we are called to love others. We perhaps, have the greatest opportunity to allow God to love others through us on this day because it's the hardest to do. It has to be Him doing the work to love those who are deliriously happy and gushy. It has to be Him allowing us to rejoice in their love. It may be a little easier to love people who just see the day as everyday, and we strive to be like them. We may even succeed at that for a time, but then a new mood hits and we are reminded of how alone we feel. We can love others by clinging to God, His promises, His truth, and allowing Him to love us and others through us.

 

Bonus: How to  (and not to) love those who are hurting:

I know that I have already taken the most space for these people, and yet, I have more to say (shocker, I know). Maybe it is because I can relate to these people the most and have the most experience in this area. Maybe it is because these people need to know love. I don't know for sure how God will use this or that it will even be beneficial, but it's my blog and I'll write what I want to :-P  So, here are some tips.

 

*Let people know that they are loved- Whether you know someone is grieving or not, take the opportunity to let people know in a personal way (not a generic Facebook post) that they are loved. It's simple really. Shoot them a text, give them a call, tell them face to face. Just let them know. Little things go a long ways.

 

*Stay away from clichés!- PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!! When I am hurting, I will never respond well to a cliché. Yes, I've "given it to God and stopped looking for a spouse." None showed up on my doorstep with a diamond five minutes later. Weird, huh? It is better to say nothing, and just be with a person than to say cheesy clichés that they are tired of hearing.

*Hug it out and let them weep- While you're not saying clichés, and maybe even just being silent. Be there for them by hugging them. Let them know you care. Warning: When a person is hurting the most, hugging may lead to tears. I don't mean sweet, wipe away with your dainty pinky finger tears, I mean full on ugly, wet, sobs. This is okay. Hug them tighter. Let them cry on you. Heck, you can even cry with them if you want! Be there for them.

 

*Pray for them and with them- This may again lead to tears, but hey, we've all been there, right? Take it to God. Remind them in a nice way of the promises found in His Word and that He loves them more than anything, That He is with them.

 

I hope this was helpful in some way, to someone. With that being said, I'll leave you with this for Valentines Day and everyday: LOVE ONE ANOTHER!!!