This is my favorite time of year to work with preschoolers. This is when I see things start to click and kids get excited about learning. It is so fun to see them get excited about reading, writing, and most importantly seeing them getting excited about and sharing what they are learning from the Word of God.
It is always my prayer that the truths they hear from the Bible will truly sink in. I pray that they will truly understand and that it will change their lives, not just learn the right words and answers to recite. These last two weeks, this has been my prayer more than ever as we have been sharing the most important truth ever with these kids. I really want them to understand how loved they are by Jesus and how important his burial and resurrection is.
All of the students were excited about the Easter story, one Newsboys fan even yelled out a few times, "God's not dead, He's surely alive!", but as time went on it became evident that some didn't quite have all of the details right. Here are a few things that had me laughing and attempting to correct theologically so they didn't go home and make their parents think that we were teaching heresy.
1) "Hosanna" quickly became a go-to answer or random shout of excitement from a few kids at super random times.
2) After talking about the last supper, one student asked me, "Every time you drink apple juice will you remember me?" Sorry sweetheart, I save the juice remembrances for Jesus.
3)Another last supper instance of confusion occurred when we were eating Ritz crackers a few days later and a child asked me, "Are we eating Jesus' skin right now?"
4) We made resurrection rolls on Thursday. Resurrection rolls are made by putting a marshmallow inside bread dough and after it cooks, the marshmallow melts and the kids see the "empty tomb." As we were making these, one student looks at me super seriously and says, "I'm just so sad that Jesus is going to burn up."
5) Later in the day, another student was telling one of his friends from another class about our special snack. He said, "We ate Jesus because He got married!" No buddy, He got BURRIED in the tomb, not married...
6) One last little nugget came while I was spending some quality time with a few students waiting by the bathrooms and asking them to tell me the Easter story. When I asked, "Why did Jesus have to die?" one child very enthusiastically responded, "So we can go to Kindergarten!"
I really do love my job and these kids keep me entertained on a regular basis. I am going to miss this.
Saturday, April 15, 2017
Wednesday, April 5, 2017
As My Friend Lloyd Christmas Would Say...
Here we are in April already. Flowers are blooming, Easter is just a week and a half away. I just spent a super relaxing week on vacation with my family, and God is doing some super exciting things in my life.
Yet as I sit here reflecting on all these happy things, I can't help but be a little sad for the things and people I have to say goodbye to. I have been on a roller coaster of emotions as I realize that in a few short months I will no longer be surrounded by the people and the job that I've had for the last 14 years. I know God has a plan, and I am truly more than stoked for what is ahead, but it is for sure bittersweet.
These emotions have hit me at some unexpected times. Here are just a few examples:
--->This is the time of year that my kiddos (students) are talking more and more about what the magical land of Kindergarten will be like. In past years I've said things like, "But what if I miss you too much? You can't leave me and go to Kindergarten." or "If you see me in the lunch room or the hallway next year when you're a big Kindergartener you better not be too cool to wave or say hi." The other day I found myself consoling a nervous little girl with, "You know what? I'm going to be going to a new school next year too. It is kinda scary. I totally get it, but you'll make new friends and God will be with you and help you."
--->Last holidays: Knowing that this is my last chance to celebrate holidays through the eyes of a preschooler has been more emotional than I expected. It was weird thinking that I was possibly putting together my last Valentines, seeing eyes light up about making it to the 100th day of school for the last time... St. Patrick's Day hit me hard for some reason.
-->Preparation for next year: Tomorrow night is our open house for prospective parents. This is usually our first chance to meet some of next year's students. I had to ask my boss if she even wanted me there since in past years, the new teachers come in. I will be there since nobody has been hired yet and I can answer questions, but still weird. (On a positive note, I get to ignore all talk of needed professional development hours!)
--->Conversations: As the time gets closer to me leaving, more conversations have come up as I've been talking to more coworkers about my plans. I'm excited to tell them my plans, but it always makes me realize how much I'll miss the people.
--->Moving on without me: Today the interviewing began to fill my position. That was SUPER WEIRD. It suddenly mad things seem so much more real.
The truth is that He really does have every part of me, every part of my future, every person and new life adventure that I will encounter. He has proven Himself faithful over and over again in my life, and especially on this journey of just taking one step at a time in faith. He is so good to me. Take a moment and listen to this song, especially if you haven't heard it before. This is truly the cry of my heart.
Thank you for reading my ramblings, praying for me, encouraging me, and trusting Jesus with me. I'll leave you will a funny conversation that I had with one of my students today(probably about the 100th conversation that I've had similarly over the years) that encouraged me to get the heck out of there.
Student: "How many children do you have?"
Me: "Zero."
Student: "You don't have any kids at your house?"
Me: "Nope. I live all by myself. I don't have any other people at my house at all."
Student (looking worried): "You don't even have a family?"
Me: "I have a family, but I don't live with them. I grew up so I moved into a different house than my parents."
Student: "What about your husband?"
Me: "I don't have a husband."
Student: "Well you better go find a husband!"
So that's it folks, I'm off to find my husband... Okay, not really. That's not why I'm leaving, but if it just so happens to happen I'm definitely not complaining!
Tuesday, February 21, 2017
The Scary/Awkward In-between
Junior high. Middle school. Ages 12ish-14ish. Those were the days we so fondly look back on, right? The days free of drama, when we were comfortable in our own skin, we knew what was ahead and marched forward into it with gusto, unafraid, completely secure in who we were and where we were going, right? WRONG. At least for me, middle school was a time of insecurity, the in-between years of our education when our bodies were changing, hormones were raging, and there was much confusion about life and where it was headed. I was probably the least confident during those years that I have been my entire life. Simply put, I HATED middle school and couldn't be paid enough to go back.
Yet here I am, 33 years old, and in many ways I find myself at a similar in-between stage of life. Thankfully, puberty is behind me (and so is my phase of wearing baggy male clothing), I have more life experience now, and can walk into this next in-between stages with more faith in my God and more confidence that though I may not fully see what is ahead, I don't need to be afraid of the popular kids, forgetting my locker combination, or not making it through 7th grade.
When I reflect on where I am in life, it seems like just about every area of my life is currently in waiting, in the in-between stages of one step and another. I am at that awkward stage between waiting for God's voice and getting the green light to "Go now." In the words that follow, you will find the real me and where I am at right at this moment. It may be messy. It may be raw and vulnerable. It will most certainly be real (and random) and I pray it will meet you where you are, point those who read it to the Person who gives me the confidence to step forward into the unknown, the God who is faithful.
Yet here I am, 33 years old, and in many ways I find myself at a similar in-between stage of life. Thankfully, puberty is behind me (and so is my phase of wearing baggy male clothing), I have more life experience now, and can walk into this next in-between stages with more faith in my God and more confidence that though I may not fully see what is ahead, I don't need to be afraid of the popular kids, forgetting my locker combination, or not making it through 7th grade.
When I reflect on where I am in life, it seems like just about every area of my life is currently in waiting, in the in-between stages of one step and another. I am at that awkward stage between waiting for God's voice and getting the green light to "Go now." In the words that follow, you will find the real me and where I am at right at this moment. It may be messy. It may be raw and vulnerable. It will most certainly be real (and random) and I pray it will meet you where you are, point those who read it to the Person who gives me the confidence to step forward into the unknown, the God who is faithful.
In-between Careers
If you've talked to me at all or read this blog at all in the last couple of years, it is no secret that I am currently going to school. The super-brief back story is that I felt God was calling me to work in the adoption realm in some capacity and decided to take the first steps to do so. I went back to school to pursue a degree in social work.
Today, I took another HUGE step in this direction. I officially told my boss that I would not be returning to work for the 2017-18 school year. People, as a student and then as an employee, I have been a part of the school that I currently work at for 18 out of the last 19 years! That is well over half of my life. After graduating from high school, I went to Bible school for a year and then returned to work at my Alma mater. This place is definitely my comfort zone. I would be lying if I said I wasn't absolutely terrified.
I will, Lord willing, be finishing up my associates degree during the fall term and then transferring to another school (and most likely another state) to pursue my bachelor's degree and ultimately my masters. These are MASSIVE changes for traditional, comfortable me. While I am worried about all that could go wrong (Hello, lack of income that I need to survive), I am also extremely excited about what is in store and how God is going to provide for me and use this experience. I may be venturing deep into the unknown, but I know that the God who is guiding me can be very known and will be with me every step of the way.
"It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed." Deuteronomy 31:8
In-between the Beyoncé moments
While going about my normal, everyday life about a week ago, I obviously had all of the changes ahead in the back of my mind when I had, what I affectionately like to call a Beyoncé moment... I was home alone in my apartment. I don't even remember what I was doing, but I noticed something to the left of me, and as I tend to do, I started singing some of the lyrics to Beyoncé's Irreplaceable. I sang, "To the left, to the left, everything you own in the box to the left" and I lost it...
I immediately started thinking about everything that I had to do to prepare to pack and move. I got stressed with irrational thinking such as, "What if I can only move one box of stuff and this song actually applies to me? How am I going to decide what to keep and what to get rid of?" Then I remembered that I have almost a year to figure all of this out. I don't have to worry about it today. I'm not moving tomorrow. Chill out, Karly. You've got time.
"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:34
In-between Church life
If I'm being honest, I haven't been as plugged in at church this last six months or so as I should have been. I've been using school, schedule, and the fact that I'm going to be moving "soon" as an excuse not to be serving as I should. Why invest in someone if I won't be around for the long haul? I've been content to mentally jump ahead to where God has me going, and not focusing on where He has me now, on why He has me where I am "for such a time as this." I have been convicted of this big time in the last few weeks. It is almost a year before I am moving. How many people have I encountered for less than a year that have impacted my life? Innumerable people have impacted my life and I need to be obedient to where God has me in the present time. I don't know exactly what this looks like yet to be honest, but I am praying about how to serve the church and those around me in the here and now, not just in the future. God told me to go make disciples, not to sit and wait for a year...
"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Matthew 28:19-20
The In-between Love life
This may be the most emotionally difficult in-between stage that I am currently in. A few months back I ended a relationship as an act of obedience to God. While it has been made clear over and over again since that time that I did the right thing, and avoided some major pain in the future, it is also hard for me to think of being single for awhile. I so long to get married and start a family. I absolutely know now that it is so much better to be single than in the wrong relationship though.
A friend recently asked me if I was ready to get back out into the dating world. I think that emotionally and mentally, I am, but it wouldn't be fair to someone to start a relationship at this point, knowing that I am planning on moving in the next year. I have mostly been content with this mindset, focusing on God and where He has me instead of desiring another relationship. Then when you least expect it, the pain hits...
I am currently taking an online women's health class. Last week we covered topics such as infertility and miscarriage. I read the statistics and had a minor melt-down. Am I really okay waiting another year before even meeting someone? I'm not as young as I used to be and my eggs may be "drying up" and prevent me from having children. How old will I be before I finally end up with someone and can start trying to have kids? Contrary to what my literary buddy Katniss Everdeen says, the odds are not in my favor... But God is. I have to trust His plan, His timing. I do trust it most of the time, but for the sake of being real, there are times that I just ache and wonder if it will ever be my time...
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end." Ecclesiastes 3:11
Here I sit, life full of in-betweens and unknowns, terrified yet excited, having to trust God more than maybe any other point in my life. I covet your prayers and can't wait to see how God uses this time in my life. I pray that I survive this awkward in-between stage much more successfully than I did my middle school years. I pray that I point to Christ more, lean more on Him, and trust Him every step of this crazy journey.
Sunday, January 15, 2017
My Jesus Year
A little over a year ago, on a day when I felt semi-content in my singleness, I jokingly told a close friend (who saw right through my comedic cover-up) that I had decided I'd be okay being single through the age of 33 if that's what God had for me. My logic went something like this, "Jesus was single for 33 years, so I can survive too."
Fast forward a few months, and there was a brief blip of "hope" that I wouldn't in fact be single for the holidays, that maybe I'd found the man that God had for me. Then, I found myself single again right before the holidays, and I was truly okay with it. I had heard from my Father, and gotten confirmation from godly council, and knew that I had to end the relationship. Yes, I cried. It was a difficult time, but I was walking in obedience, and God was with me.
Enter, my Jesus year. About a week ago I had my 33rd birthday. Your 33rd year of life is often, in Christian circles referred to your "Jesus Year" because that's how old Jesus was when He was in full-time ministry, and ultimately paid the greatest sacrifice, giving His life for us. His sacrifice made it possible for me to be where I am today.
What will my Jesus year look like? It's hard to tell. While I am nowhere near as perfect as Jesus was, I can look to His example and follow in His footsteps, with His help. No, I don't foresee a year of raising people from the dead or turning water into wine (wouldn't that be nice though?). There are a lot of unknowns during this year, but there are also a few things that I do know will happen, as I follow my Savior's lead:
* I can trust my Father to lead me.
* I will seek His face, listen for His voice.
* I will allow Him to love people through me.
* I will make it a priority to seek a quiet place and pray.
* I will obey my Father.
* I will go where He guides.
* I will point people to my Father, and therefore to His Son.
* I will serve.
* My Father will not forsake me.
I don't know what this year has in store. I am praying about some pretty big changes that may be coming in the next year. There is the possibility of a major move to continue my education. There are things that I will totally have to step out in faith about. While these things are terrifying, they are also exciting and I can't wait to see where my faithful Father leads me in my "Jesus Year."
Fast forward a few months, and there was a brief blip of "hope" that I wouldn't in fact be single for the holidays, that maybe I'd found the man that God had for me. Then, I found myself single again right before the holidays, and I was truly okay with it. I had heard from my Father, and gotten confirmation from godly council, and knew that I had to end the relationship. Yes, I cried. It was a difficult time, but I was walking in obedience, and God was with me.
Enter, my Jesus year. About a week ago I had my 33rd birthday. Your 33rd year of life is often, in Christian circles referred to your "Jesus Year" because that's how old Jesus was when He was in full-time ministry, and ultimately paid the greatest sacrifice, giving His life for us. His sacrifice made it possible for me to be where I am today.
What will my Jesus year look like? It's hard to tell. While I am nowhere near as perfect as Jesus was, I can look to His example and follow in His footsteps, with His help. No, I don't foresee a year of raising people from the dead or turning water into wine (wouldn't that be nice though?). There are a lot of unknowns during this year, but there are also a few things that I do know will happen, as I follow my Savior's lead:
* I can trust my Father to lead me.
* I will seek His face, listen for His voice.
* I will allow Him to love people through me.
* I will make it a priority to seek a quiet place and pray.
* I will obey my Father.
* I will go where He guides.
* I will point people to my Father, and therefore to His Son.
* I will serve.
* My Father will not forsake me.
I don't know what this year has in store. I am praying about some pretty big changes that may be coming in the next year. There is the possibility of a major move to continue my education. There are things that I will totally have to step out in faith about. While these things are terrifying, they are also exciting and I can't wait to see where my faithful Father leads me in my "Jesus Year."
Saturday, February 13, 2016
For the Love of Valentines Day
Valentines Day. Those two words mean different things to different people. In my years of life and conversations, I've noticed three main reactions to this day. To some people, February 14th represents a day to remember how loved they are and to lavish that love on a significant other, some see it as just another day, and for some it is a day of grief. We probably all know some people who fit into each of these categories. We can all agree, that to some extent, we at least think about love on this day. I believe that the Bible is very clear that we are to love others, regardless of what stage of life we are in. How do we make these worlds collide? I am no expert, but I do have a few thoughts.
To the "I love Valentines Day!!!!" people:
You know who you are. You love romance, flowers, hearts, candles, kisses, hugs, chocolate, and the over-the-topness of the day. Good for you. I am truly happy for you. Enjoy your day. Keep doing you. But maybe tone it down just a little... Please, go ahead and enjoy the day. Thank God for the blessings in your life. Have that romantic dinner with your significant other, but for the love of others, maybe don't post EVERYTHING on social media. Remember that this is a hard day for some people. Make a point of reaching out to, or at least praying for people who may not be having the same happy day that you are. Enjoy your time with the person closest to you, but isn't it more special to keep some things just between the two of you anyway? I'm not saying to keep everything private. I often fall into the last category (more on that later), but I still enjoy seeing people happy. I enjoy seeing relationships that work. I just don't need to se 50 pictures of the same couple enjoying the day and reminding me of what I don't have. Love others by being considerate of their feelings as well.
To the "It's just another day" people:
You're right. It is just another day. Another day to love people like Christ has called you to do. It is a great day to love others who may not agree with you by living out Romans 12:15.
To the "I love Valentines Day!!!!" people:
You know who you are. You love romance, flowers, hearts, candles, kisses, hugs, chocolate, and the over-the-topness of the day. Good for you. I am truly happy for you. Enjoy your day. Keep doing you. But maybe tone it down just a little... Please, go ahead and enjoy the day. Thank God for the blessings in your life. Have that romantic dinner with your significant other, but for the love of others, maybe don't post EVERYTHING on social media. Remember that this is a hard day for some people. Make a point of reaching out to, or at least praying for people who may not be having the same happy day that you are. Enjoy your time with the person closest to you, but isn't it more special to keep some things just between the two of you anyway? I'm not saying to keep everything private. I often fall into the last category (more on that later), but I still enjoy seeing people happy. I enjoy seeing relationships that work. I just don't need to se 50 pictures of the same couple enjoying the day and reminding me of what I don't have. Love others by being considerate of their feelings as well.
To the "It's just another day" people:
You're right. It is just another day. Another day to love people like Christ has called you to do. It is a great day to love others who may not agree with you by living out Romans 12:15.
Celebrate with your friends and loved ones who are loved every day, but especially appreciate it on Valentines Day. Praise God for their love. At the same time, Weep with people who are in pain. Hug them. Pray for them. Let them weep on your shoulders. Allow them to cry ugly tears. Love others in your "everyday."
To the "Valentines Day makes me sad" people:
Let me start off by assuring you that you are not alone. I probably have the most to say about this because I am one of these people. There are many different reasons for people to be grieving on Valentines day. Some may be grieving the love, marriage, and family that they so desire and don't have yet. Some by be grieving the loss of a loved one. Some may be in an abusive relationship and long to know real love. Some may be bitter or hurt by those who are supposed to love them the most. I don't know all of your stories, but I do know that February 14th brings a whole new level of pain for some people and I am sorry for that. If I could, I would hug you tight and let you cry it out, then give you gold and sunshine, rainbows and perfect love for the rest of your days. Unfortunately, I can't. As Christians, even in times of grief, we are called to love others. We perhaps, have the greatest opportunity to allow God to love others through us on this day because it's the hardest to do. It has to be Him doing the work to love those who are deliriously happy and gushy. It has to be Him allowing us to rejoice in their love. It may be a little easier to love people who just see the day as everyday, and we strive to be like them. We may even succeed at that for a time, but then a new mood hits and we are reminded of how alone we feel. We can love others by clinging to God, His promises, His truth, and allowing Him to love us and others through us.
Bonus: How to (and not to) love those who are hurting:
I know that I have already taken the most space for these people, and yet, I have more to say (shocker, I know). Maybe it is because I can relate to these people the most and have the most experience in this area. Maybe it is because these people need to know love. I don't know for sure how God will use this or that it will even be beneficial, but it's my blog and I'll write what I want to :-P So, here are some tips.
*Let people know that they are loved- Whether you know someone is grieving or not, take the opportunity to let people know in a personal way (not a generic Facebook post) that they are loved. It's simple really. Shoot them a text, give them a call, tell them face to face. Just let them know. Little things go a long ways.
*Stay away from clichés!- PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!! When I am hurting, I will never respond well to a cliché. Yes, I've "given it to God and stopped looking for a spouse." None showed up on my doorstep with a diamond five minutes later. Weird, huh? It is better to say nothing, and just be with a person than to say cheesy clichés that they are tired of hearing.
*Hug it out and let them weep- While you're not saying clichés, and maybe even just being silent. Be there for them by hugging them. Let them know you care. Warning: When a person is hurting the most, hugging may lead to tears. I don't mean sweet, wipe away with your dainty pinky finger tears, I mean full on ugly, wet, sobs. This is okay. Hug them tighter. Let them cry on you. Heck, you can even cry with them if you want! Be there for them.
*Pray for them and with them- This may again lead to tears, but hey, we've all been there, right? Take it to God. Remind them in a nice way of the promises found in His Word and that He loves them more than anything, That He is with them.
I hope this was helpful in some way, to someone. With that being said, I'll leave you with this for Valentines Day and everyday: LOVE ONE ANOTHER!!!
Sunday, January 3, 2016
If You Would Have Told Me a Year Ago...
Happy New Year (a few days late)! This particular post has been in the works for a few weeks now, and has changed format a few times (I was even going to make a music video at one point, and NOBODY wants to see that! Ha!). As I began to think about the Christmas/New Year/Birthday/Valentine's season, it wasn't easy. On the surface, nothing much changed in 2015. I am still single and childless, working the same place that I have been for the last 12 years. Everyone around me seems to be getting married, having kids, going on these grand adventures... If I focused on that, I became bitter and resentful. Wondering what the point of 2015 was. As I cried out to God during these times, He was faithful to show me that much really had changed. He is at work in my life, and as His words say, I have received grace upon grace. Below, are just a few ways that I have seen this grace in my life in the last year.
If you would have told me a year ago that I would still be single, and be okay with being a mess about it sometimes, I would have doubted you. The truth is, that I would love to be married with kids someday (hopefully sooner than later). This has been a desire of mine for a long time. Sometimes I'm okay with my singleness, and sometimes I'm a complete wreck. This year, while learning how to lean on God more, I've learned to be more real, both with Him and with others. Upon not hiding the "ugly" parts of my life, He has been faithful to provide comfort through His Holy Spirit and through friends. Some of my close friends have heard me rant, and seen me cry, at sometimes irrational times. I have some dear friends, who are married, and instead of giving platitudes such as "Your time will come" or "It's all in God's timing", really are there for me and acknowledge the struggle. They allow me to cry and vent. They are there for me. God is there for me even more. His grace is amazing.
If you would have told me a year ago that my youngest sister would get married before me and I wouldn't have a complete meltdown, I would have thought it impossible. Thankfully, I serve the God who makes the impossible things possible. I am so excited for my sister and the Jesus loving man that she found. I didn't even shed any tears around the time of their marriage. It may have finally hit me around Christmas when we were gathering at their newly purchased home, that she has things that I have dreamed of for a long time. I may not understand God's timing, but I am truly happy for them, and it's by God's grace alone that I can say that and trust that He does, indeed, have a plan for me.
If you would have told me a year ago that I would be a student again after almost a decade, I would have called you crazy. As it turns out, I may be the crazy one. It wasn't until May of 2015 that I even decided to go on this adventure. Here I am, about to start my second term tomorrow. It is truly a God thing. I always wanted to continue my education, but didn't know what area to pursue. All along, God had a plan. For the last few years, I have been hearing more and more about adoption. God has been bringing it to light through sermons, news stories, and friends. God has truly given me a passion for this area. I still don't know how exactly this will play out in my life, but I am excited to see how God will use this as I take one step at a time, in faith, to pursue a degree and possible career in this field. Maybe this is why I'm single. For such a time as this, to study and move in this direction without the distraction of kids around. Time will tell. God's grace is marvelous!
If you would have told me a year ago that my entire immediate family would be together at Christmas, and be happy to do so, I would have been extremely hesitant to believe you. This time last year, my family was in complete turmoil. Life as I had known it for 30ish years, was over. Part of my family wasn't speaking to one another, and everyone was deeply hurting. (See blog post from August 2014 for more details.) Things are still far from what they once were in my family. There is still hurt in each person's life from things that happened. But through the grace of God, restoration has begun. I teared up as I sat in a Christmas Eve service at my church with most of my family sitting there. People sitting next to each other who definitely would not have even been in the same building a year ago. Things will most likely never be the same, but God's grace brings healing, and He is good.
If you would have told me a year ago, that my work life would look completely different, I would have cried. Truth be told, I did cry, a lot, when I found out about the changes that were to come. My comfort zone was being ripped away. The person who I had worked closest with for years was taking a new position, and work as I knew it would change. Because of these changes, however, I was able to go back to school, to work a different schedule. Yes, I work with different people and in a different classroom, at different times than I have for years. Yes, it was a hard adjustment at times and I'm still getting used to the new routine. Yes, I still mostly love my job. God's grace has brought me out of my comfort zone and back to why I do what I do. I get paid to talk to kids about Jesus, to pray with people, to see God working in lives. How cool is that?!?! God is good.
All of this is just a small glimpse into my life in 2015. It may not have looked how I thought it should, but when I really stop to think about it, even amongst the chaos and tears, God has remained faithful and He has me on a journey that is so much greater than I could ever plan for myself. He is faithful, and has truly given me grace upon grace.
If you would have told me a year ago that I would still be single, and be okay with being a mess about it sometimes, I would have doubted you. The truth is, that I would love to be married with kids someday (hopefully sooner than later). This has been a desire of mine for a long time. Sometimes I'm okay with my singleness, and sometimes I'm a complete wreck. This year, while learning how to lean on God more, I've learned to be more real, both with Him and with others. Upon not hiding the "ugly" parts of my life, He has been faithful to provide comfort through His Holy Spirit and through friends. Some of my close friends have heard me rant, and seen me cry, at sometimes irrational times. I have some dear friends, who are married, and instead of giving platitudes such as "Your time will come" or "It's all in God's timing", really are there for me and acknowledge the struggle. They allow me to cry and vent. They are there for me. God is there for me even more. His grace is amazing.
If you would have told me a year ago that my youngest sister would get married before me and I wouldn't have a complete meltdown, I would have thought it impossible. Thankfully, I serve the God who makes the impossible things possible. I am so excited for my sister and the Jesus loving man that she found. I didn't even shed any tears around the time of their marriage. It may have finally hit me around Christmas when we were gathering at their newly purchased home, that she has things that I have dreamed of for a long time. I may not understand God's timing, but I am truly happy for them, and it's by God's grace alone that I can say that and trust that He does, indeed, have a plan for me.
If you would have told me a year ago that I would be a student again after almost a decade, I would have called you crazy. As it turns out, I may be the crazy one. It wasn't until May of 2015 that I even decided to go on this adventure. Here I am, about to start my second term tomorrow. It is truly a God thing. I always wanted to continue my education, but didn't know what area to pursue. All along, God had a plan. For the last few years, I have been hearing more and more about adoption. God has been bringing it to light through sermons, news stories, and friends. God has truly given me a passion for this area. I still don't know how exactly this will play out in my life, but I am excited to see how God will use this as I take one step at a time, in faith, to pursue a degree and possible career in this field. Maybe this is why I'm single. For such a time as this, to study and move in this direction without the distraction of kids around. Time will tell. God's grace is marvelous!
If you would have told me a year ago that my entire immediate family would be together at Christmas, and be happy to do so, I would have been extremely hesitant to believe you. This time last year, my family was in complete turmoil. Life as I had known it for 30ish years, was over. Part of my family wasn't speaking to one another, and everyone was deeply hurting. (See blog post from August 2014 for more details.) Things are still far from what they once were in my family. There is still hurt in each person's life from things that happened. But through the grace of God, restoration has begun. I teared up as I sat in a Christmas Eve service at my church with most of my family sitting there. People sitting next to each other who definitely would not have even been in the same building a year ago. Things will most likely never be the same, but God's grace brings healing, and He is good.
If you would have told me a year ago, that my work life would look completely different, I would have cried. Truth be told, I did cry, a lot, when I found out about the changes that were to come. My comfort zone was being ripped away. The person who I had worked closest with for years was taking a new position, and work as I knew it would change. Because of these changes, however, I was able to go back to school, to work a different schedule. Yes, I work with different people and in a different classroom, at different times than I have for years. Yes, it was a hard adjustment at times and I'm still getting used to the new routine. Yes, I still mostly love my job. God's grace has brought me out of my comfort zone and back to why I do what I do. I get paid to talk to kids about Jesus, to pray with people, to see God working in lives. How cool is that?!?! God is good.
All of this is just a small glimpse into my life in 2015. It may not have looked how I thought it should, but when I really stop to think about it, even amongst the chaos and tears, God has remained faithful and He has me on a journey that is so much greater than I could ever plan for myself. He is faithful, and has truly given me grace upon grace.
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Thankful for Adoption
Tomorrow is the last day of November. I have felt an urging all month to write something in honor of National Adoption Month, yet I haven't known where to start. To be honest, I still don't know exactly what will come of this blog post, but with much prayer, I am moving forward and trusting that God will use my fingers moving across my keyboard to share a small part of my journey, in hopes that it may be helpful or encouraging to someone else.
As some of you know, adoption is something near and dear to my heart. No, I am not adopted in an earthly or legal sense, but I am adopted in a spiritual sense. This has become more and more real to me over the last few years, and has changed the direction of my life. I firmly believe that I am adopted into the family of God, by grace alone. This has been true for more than a few years, but has become more evident in my life as I seek God and His direction in my life more. Not only am I adopted, but I am also called to adoption. This may mean physical, legal adoption, or it may mean something else entirely. I don't know how God will use me, but as I put one foot in front of the other, walking in faith, I can't wait to see how He will carry this out in my life. More on that later...
First, why adoption? The "easy" answer to this question is because God adopted me. I have known this, and have read scriptures about being adopted into God's family many times. I have been moving in the direction that He is leading because of this knowledge. I love it though, when God confirms that you're moving in the right direction when you least expect it. This happened a few weeks ago, when I was doing my Bible study. I was not studying adoption on purpose, and was in fact doing a study that I'm going through with some other ladies on the book of Revelation when Romans 11 was assigned to read. It is a passage that I have ready many times, God's word truly is living and active, and this particular passage hit me hard this time. I had to stop, mid passage, and thank God for adoption. I have been chewing on this for a few weeks now. God is so good.
"So I ask, did they stumble in order that they might fall? By no means! Rather through their trespass salvation has come to the Gentiles, so as to make Israel jealous. Now if their trespass means riches for the world, and if their failure means riches for the Gentiles, how much more will their full inclusion mean! Now I am speaking to you Gentiles. Inasmuch then as I am an apostle to the Gentiles, I magnify my ministry in order somehow to make my fellow Jews jealous, and thus save some of them. For if their rejection means the reconciliation of the world, what will their acceptance mean but life from the dead? If the dough offered as firstfruits is holy, so is the whole lump, and if the root is holy, so are the branches. But if some of the branches were broken off, and you, although a wild olive shoot, were grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing root[ of the olive tree, do not be arrogant toward the branches. If you are, remember it is not you who support the root, but the root that supports you. Then you will say, “Branches were broken off so that I might be grafted in.” That is true. They were broken off because of their unbelief, but you stand fast through faith. So do not become proud, but fear. For if God did not spare the natural branches, neither will he spare you. Note then the kindness and the severity of God: severity toward those who have fallen, but God's kindness to you, provided you continue in his kindness. Otherwise you too will be cut off. And even they, if they do not continue in their unbelief, will be grafted in, for God has the power to graft them in again. For if you were cut from what is by nature a wild olive tree, and grafted, contrary to nature, into a cultivated olive tree, how much more will these, the natural branches, be grafted back into their own olive tree." (Romans 11:11-24)
There is much to be gleaned from this passage, and it would take much longer than a few minutes to really dig in deeply into what it means, but the part that struck me anew a few weeks ago is the assurance that I am grafted in to God's family. I am part of His family tree. He has adopted me, given me what I need. He has given me life. I'm not an outsider who knows that His family tree exists, I am a part of the tree! Seriously, how cool is that?!?!?!
What does it mean to be adopted into God's family? It means, first and foremost, that He calls me His child. I have rights to an inheritance far greater than anything that I deserve. I get to lean upon Him. I get to spend an eternity with my heavenly Father. I also have a spiritual family that I am incredibly thankful for. As I was sitting in church today, there were some somber moments. Some dear friends were worshipping with our church body for possibly the last time today as God is leading them and their family in a different direction. As I was reflecting on this, I was reminded that they, and other people are part of my spiritual family. I have been adopted into God's family, and His people have been an awesome support for me over the years.
My own earthly family is great. I am blessed to have grown up with people who love Jesus. With that being said though, there have also been times when I have had to lean on my spiritual family. There are times when God uses my earthly family in my life and times that He puts other people into my life to speak truth into my life, to cry with me, to laugh with me, to encourage me, etc. I am so thankful to have such great family support, both of my biological family and my brothers and sisters
in Christ.
I am also fortunate enough to have some dear people in my life, who love Jesus, and have adopted children into their homes. Some are still in the process and some have adopted several children. I have loved prayerfully walking alongside of them on their adoption journeys. God has used each of them in incredible ways in these kids' lives and, whether they know it or not, in mine. It is such an inspiration to see lives being changed because of God's love, and these peoples' love for children.
All that being said, where does that leave me? How can I take this adoption that I have received and in turn, show the world what it means to be adopted? That, my friends, is what I have been trying to figure out for the last couple of years, and the last six months in particular. I am currently going to school to work in the adoption arena in some capacity. I don't know what that will look like yet. I am, however, trusting God and taking steps forward as He leads. Will I one day be in a place to physically, legally adopt a child? I don't know. Can I support adoption now? Absolutely.
If I am adopted as God's child, wouldn't it seem like a natural thing to turn around and share that adoption with others? I don't think Christians often enough realize what God has called us all to. Many times, scripture tells us to help the orphans and widows. How are we doing that? I don't think that God calls everyone to physically adopt, but I do believe that He commands all believers to help orphans and widows. As I've pondered what that means during this National Adoption Month, I am broken. I have not done enough. I have often taken my own adoption for granted and not shared the good news of the Gospel with others.
I am in no place financially or circumstantially to physically, legally, adopt any children right now. I can, however do a few other things:
As some of you know, adoption is something near and dear to my heart. No, I am not adopted in an earthly or legal sense, but I am adopted in a spiritual sense. This has become more and more real to me over the last few years, and has changed the direction of my life. I firmly believe that I am adopted into the family of God, by grace alone. This has been true for more than a few years, but has become more evident in my life as I seek God and His direction in my life more. Not only am I adopted, but I am also called to adoption. This may mean physical, legal adoption, or it may mean something else entirely. I don't know how God will use me, but as I put one foot in front of the other, walking in faith, I can't wait to see how He will carry this out in my life. More on that later...
First, why adoption? The "easy" answer to this question is because God adopted me. I have known this, and have read scriptures about being adopted into God's family many times. I have been moving in the direction that He is leading because of this knowledge. I love it though, when God confirms that you're moving in the right direction when you least expect it. This happened a few weeks ago, when I was doing my Bible study. I was not studying adoption on purpose, and was in fact doing a study that I'm going through with some other ladies on the book of Revelation when Romans 11 was assigned to read. It is a passage that I have ready many times, God's word truly is living and active, and this particular passage hit me hard this time. I had to stop, mid passage, and thank God for adoption. I have been chewing on this for a few weeks now. God is so good.
"So I ask, did they stumble in order that they might fall? By no means! Rather through their trespass salvation has come to the Gentiles, so as to make Israel jealous. Now if their trespass means riches for the world, and if their failure means riches for the Gentiles, how much more will their full inclusion mean! Now I am speaking to you Gentiles. Inasmuch then as I am an apostle to the Gentiles, I magnify my ministry in order somehow to make my fellow Jews jealous, and thus save some of them. For if their rejection means the reconciliation of the world, what will their acceptance mean but life from the dead? If the dough offered as firstfruits is holy, so is the whole lump, and if the root is holy, so are the branches. But if some of the branches were broken off, and you, although a wild olive shoot, were grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing root[ of the olive tree, do not be arrogant toward the branches. If you are, remember it is not you who support the root, but the root that supports you. Then you will say, “Branches were broken off so that I might be grafted in.” That is true. They were broken off because of their unbelief, but you stand fast through faith. So do not become proud, but fear. For if God did not spare the natural branches, neither will he spare you. Note then the kindness and the severity of God: severity toward those who have fallen, but God's kindness to you, provided you continue in his kindness. Otherwise you too will be cut off. And even they, if they do not continue in their unbelief, will be grafted in, for God has the power to graft them in again. For if you were cut from what is by nature a wild olive tree, and grafted, contrary to nature, into a cultivated olive tree, how much more will these, the natural branches, be grafted back into their own olive tree." (Romans 11:11-24)
There is much to be gleaned from this passage, and it would take much longer than a few minutes to really dig in deeply into what it means, but the part that struck me anew a few weeks ago is the assurance that I am grafted in to God's family. I am part of His family tree. He has adopted me, given me what I need. He has given me life. I'm not an outsider who knows that His family tree exists, I am a part of the tree! Seriously, how cool is that?!?!?!
What does it mean to be adopted into God's family? It means, first and foremost, that He calls me His child. I have rights to an inheritance far greater than anything that I deserve. I get to lean upon Him. I get to spend an eternity with my heavenly Father. I also have a spiritual family that I am incredibly thankful for. As I was sitting in church today, there were some somber moments. Some dear friends were worshipping with our church body for possibly the last time today as God is leading them and their family in a different direction. As I was reflecting on this, I was reminded that they, and other people are part of my spiritual family. I have been adopted into God's family, and His people have been an awesome support for me over the years.
My own earthly family is great. I am blessed to have grown up with people who love Jesus. With that being said though, there have also been times when I have had to lean on my spiritual family. There are times when God uses my earthly family in my life and times that He puts other people into my life to speak truth into my life, to cry with me, to laugh with me, to encourage me, etc. I am so thankful to have such great family support, both of my biological family and my brothers and sisters
in Christ.
I am also fortunate enough to have some dear people in my life, who love Jesus, and have adopted children into their homes. Some are still in the process and some have adopted several children. I have loved prayerfully walking alongside of them on their adoption journeys. God has used each of them in incredible ways in these kids' lives and, whether they know it or not, in mine. It is such an inspiration to see lives being changed because of God's love, and these peoples' love for children.
All that being said, where does that leave me? How can I take this adoption that I have received and in turn, show the world what it means to be adopted? That, my friends, is what I have been trying to figure out for the last couple of years, and the last six months in particular. I am currently going to school to work in the adoption arena in some capacity. I don't know what that will look like yet. I am, however, trusting God and taking steps forward as He leads. Will I one day be in a place to physically, legally adopt a child? I don't know. Can I support adoption now? Absolutely.
If I am adopted as God's child, wouldn't it seem like a natural thing to turn around and share that adoption with others? I don't think Christians often enough realize what God has called us all to. Many times, scripture tells us to help the orphans and widows. How are we doing that? I don't think that God calls everyone to physically adopt, but I do believe that He commands all believers to help orphans and widows. As I've pondered what that means during this National Adoption Month, I am broken. I have not done enough. I have often taken my own adoption for granted and not shared the good news of the Gospel with others.
I am in no place financially or circumstantially to physically, legally, adopt any children right now. I can, however do a few other things:
*Pray for children who need a family
*Pray those working with these children
*Support friends who are seeking to adopt financially
*Support friends who are seeking to adopt in prayer.
*Support adoption agencies.
*Share the gospel and the story of being adopted into God's family
*Love, support, pray with, cry with, other members of God's family who have been adopted.
*Thank God
These are just a few ways to get involved in the cause. There are many more. Pray about it. Seek how God would have you support adoption causes, not just during November, but throughout the year as well. Sorry this was so long and rambly (yes, I know that I made that word up), but I hope someone is encouraged by this.
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